In my head..

There isn't a minute that i don't miss my friends.
I miss my life with them..
The reason i laugh with them..
The stupid thing we did in class..
The clearness of my head.
I feel im on another world or something.
How does that work?
I want to take my mum and go back..
She has to finish what she started here
She promised me that we are going back
I believe her but one part of me thinks.
Will it be the same?
Will i be a part of them as they are NOW a part of me?
Or will i be some different unattached part that just hangs out with them.
So many thing going in my head.
So much responsibility not to let down anyone and still i fill im doing it wrong
I want to go back to my old self
But i believe that im not going to be the same
Only my outside feelings will be the same..
I don't feel like a teen
I feel old! I want to go back to that summer that my friend used to sneak in my house and take me by surprise in the morning
I want to feel the same way in my heart..
I miss this girl shes one of my best friends the most steady part of me..
I miss the others to.
With all of the i feel to be my old crazy self.
Now all i feel is responsibility..
am i Crazy in a bad way?
I don't think so only that people depend on me..
I think im not thinking like anyone in my age..
I got much much more on my head..
I hope when i go back i will be the same..
But the odds are not good.
I love my friends..
They where there when i needed a hand to hold on to
I hope they feel the same way i do..
I don't understand why everyone is depending on me..
who am i?
i don't like hurting people..
i just want to go home